The awful male fashion style of Dani Alves

Bad hair, bad dressing style, bad glasses, bad mouth… yes, it’s Dani Alves

Dani Alves fashion lookFor any of you Barcelona fans, you will surely have noticed during 2013 and much of 2014 how Dani Alves has changed his fashion look. Dani Alves was known for his tattoos, short hair with razor shaved sides and a fashion look similar to a bad boy from your nearest bad neighborhood. That was before 2013, because then Dani Alves changed his fashion look to the look of a hipster. I mean like, out of all the fashion looks a football player could pick, why the hell did Dani Alves pick the hipster look and continue with it?

And don’t get me started with the hipster glasses…

The hipster fashion sins committed by Dani Alves

I have been looking at previous pictures of Dani Alves and his current hipster pictures, and here are some of the differences I have found in his fashion look:

  • Started wearing fedora hats.Dani Alves likes hipster fashion
  • Grow his hair longer and got an undercut haircut.
  • Got a slicked back undercut hairstyle during the FIFA World Cup. I don’t know if you know it, but the undercut hairstyle with slicked back hair is one hell of a hipster look. Undercut haircut plus a beard and you have your typical worthless trendy hipster.
  • Let his beard grow to a trimmed beard style. This point ties with the above point of the undercut hairstyle with the hair slicked back. This is the classic hipster look that started it all, along side the tattoos like that chav Ricki Hall and the obsession with expensive boots of the Esquire idiots.
  • Started wearing suspenders. This is the variant of the modern hipster. Think of a tanned short hair Skrillex.
  • Got himself those ridiculous Beats by Dre headphones that are absolute shite. Never mind paying 4 times more money for some crap headphones (Beats by Dre) than for some spectacular set of powerful headphones (Pioneer… anyone?).
  • Started wearing brown high leather boots that are as ugly as a two-headed cat and which are hyper expensive and thus marketed to stupid hipster males who lack masculinity.

The other hipster guy in the team: Pinto

I have my suspicion that Dani Alves’ hipster fashion sense was passed on by none other than crap goalkeeper, Jose Manuel Pinto. This goalkeeper is one of the baddest (as in crap) goalkeepers the world has seen, and he also has the baddest fashion sense ever. Prior to becoming a hipster in 2012, Pinto had long hair in braids, all at the tender age of 36. You tll me when you have seen an adult with long hair braids that remind one of Milli Vanilli?

Jose Manuel Pinto was known in his team as the trendy guy who caught all stupid fashion trends for men and twisted them to his own unique (and altered) vision. of course, seeing that Dani Alves has no more than one single brain cell, he soon followed Jose Manuel Pinto with his hipster stupidity and soon FC Barcelona had its own 2 clowns to entertain the crowd.


Comments are Disabled